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LAURA ADDERLEY

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Mental illness doesn't define who you are but it certainly makes you work at creating YOU.

I've been on a journey for mental health my whole life. I've gotten knocked down and then back up. I've done the work. I have good days and bad. The journey continues - thanks for coming along with me!

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Roles vs Identity

The roles and identities we have are two incredibly important concepts in the fight against the Beast that is suicidality. Why, you ask?...

Shoulda, Woulda, Oughta, Coulda

We rarely direct uglier, or more punative words at ourselves than shoulda, woulda, oughta and coulda. Even I realize (on a good day when...

Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night

At some point, you are going to come to a crossroads, and there will be a choice: either you will accept the Beast as gospel or you will...

A Fractured Sense of Self

They say the toughest question is, “What is the meaning of life?” I propose that the MOST difficult question to answer is actually, “Who...

Perfectionism and Other Ills

So, why is perfectionism such a bad thing? After all, isn’t it just a source of motivation to do your best? NOOOOO!!! It’s NOT!!! It’s...

Fear of Failure (and Other Things)

So, the Fear of Failure: it harms us in more ways than one would think. It doesn’t just keep us stuck in old, negative patterns – it...

Support Systems Part I: Friends & Family

First things first: I realize I’m late to the party – I am seriously tardy in posting this blog entry. Truth be told, I was at two psych...

Stigma and What We Can All Do to Help

Crazy. Damaged. Loony. Demented. Mad. Insane. Unhinged. Half-baked. Lunatic. Mental. Nuts. Cuckoo. Crackers. Wacko. Batshit. And in...

In the beginning ...

I don’t have many memories where I remember what I was wearing, but I vividly recall absentmindedly counting the rows on my favorite pair...

Battling the Beast

So, my goal in writing this blog is to raise awareness about “suicidality,” which I define as the state of contemplating your own death...

Come along on my journey!

I am no expert in anything but my own experience, and it is my hope that you gain something by reading about my struggles, my failures,...

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ABOUT ME

So, most people start an “About the Author” by dutifully reciting their education credentials. If you're curious about said details, I have an undergraduate degree in English and history as well as a Juris Doctorate, both from the University of Michigan, both in the ’90s.


But the nitty-gritty, important – and dare I say relevant – stats are 100 and 200, 15 and 2.


What??


Let me explain. This blog is (mostly) about suicide resilience, and those numbers mean something to me; they stand for my struggles, my efforts to improve (or at times to salvage) my mental health.

100: The number of times I have been hospitalized.

200: The number of different psychotropic medications I have been prescribed.

15: The number of times I have undergone electroconvulsive therapy sessions (not including the dozens of Transcranial Magnetic Therapy treatments).

2: The number of times I attempted to end my life.


I am no expert in anything but my own experience, and it is my hope that you gain something by reading about my struggles, my failures, and, yes, my successes. Because the Beast that is suicidality must be beaten back, put in its cage – only then can you really start to live.

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