Did the depression cause the pain, or did the pain cause the depression?? Now THAT is the question of the hour! Truth be told, ongoing physical pain can result in clinical depression, and ongoing depression can result in real physical pain.
So, why is this such a big deal? Why does it matter? Can't you simply take Tylenol or ibuprofen? Or pull yourself up by your bootstraps? Hang on there – it's not that simple. I have experienced depression resulting in pain, and I have experienced depression as a result of pain: neither one is a picnic.
Regarding physical pain, I am somewhat of a resident expert. I have had migraines since the third grade, I have IBS, and I have had back, shoulder, and wrist surgery as an adult. I Have tried just about every migraine med there is – sadly, the one that worked best is no longer available: (just my luck!), and opioids don't touch pain for me.
I am an active person by nature. I work out with a personal trainer three times a week at 6:30 am; most days, I walk my two yellow Labs. So, when laid up, as I am now, I become frustrated, grumpy, & impatient with my recovery.
What did I do this time, you ask? Well … I was visiting my best friend (my first vacay in three years b/c of Covid), and I attempted to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And somehow wound up taking a header down 18 tile stairs instead. For the first several steps, I had no idea what was going on – by the last few, I knew and helplessly skidded down on my face.
I could've let the pain (fractured wrist, deep patella bone bruise, displaced tooth, stitches in my leg and face) rule my world, but I refused. When my bestie asked what I wanted to do (after spending the night in the ER), I instantly answered, "Let's go to the beach!!" I have learned how to manage pain best via distraction, and what better distraction than a crystal-clear ocean and white sand beach – if you have to be on the sidelines, you might as well have your bestie and a beautiful backdrop to cheer you up!!
Now, all joking aside, my recovery has been complicated: I was on vacation, which meant I had to go home to reality. And reality means no working out, no horseback riding, no walking Justice and Daisy – plus `excruciating physical therapy for my knee (I swear my PT is a sadist - Ha!).
All this pain is frustrating, maddening, and largely unrelenting. I have to sleep on my back (and I am a dedicated side sleeper); the only saving grace regarding my difficulty sleeping on my back is that the pain has me so worn out by the end of the day that sleep comes relatively easily.
If I'm honest about the state of my mental health, due to some things unrelated to my accident (but in large part due to it), my depression is exponentially worse, and my plan is to go into the hospital.
Now, here's where things get dicey: going into the hospital, while necessary, makes me feel like a complete and utter failure. So, I have to try to cut myself a break – not an easy task. This leads me to the Beast, who is suicidality: it is important to stay on top of physical pain because, and trust me, it WILL wear you down, and it WILL make you depressed, and it can make you want to give up the fight.
I'm not suggesting that you go on opioids – that has the propensity to cause another problem: addiction. By all means, take over-the-counter pain killers if necessary, but work on developing a mindfulness practice – or any other means of distraction (journaling, listening to music, coloring, handicrafts, meditating, drawing, singing, etc.) to employ when the pain makes you want to give in to the Beast's suicide rhetoric.
Sometimes serious emotional pain can result in depression; just as often, depression itself can cause physical pain. Huh? Well, if you don't get out of bed or off the couch day after day, you'll get quite sore. I know for me, my chronic back pain becomes exponentially worse when I'm depressed.
For me, migraines seem to pop up out of nowhere (versus having an apparent cause). In general, when depressed, I feel achy and uncomfortable, as if I've sat too long in one position or have a low-grade cold. I don't know how or why I feel physically under the weather when I'm depressed. But I do know that regardless of whether the depression results in pain or vice versa, DON'T give up. DON'T let the Beast get the better of you. We've got this.
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