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LAURA ADDERLEY

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Mental illness doesn't define who you are but it certainly makes you work at creating YOU.

I've been on a journey for mental health my whole life. I've gotten knocked down and then back up. I've done the work. I have good days and bad. The journey continues - thanks for coming along with me!

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Toxic People & Groups: Part One

What qualifies a person or an entity as toxic? My definition is one who undermines your forward progress, makes you feel inadequate, and...

Societal Expectations

So, why do we feel like we have to keep up with the Jones'? Why do we even care what our neighbor is up to? Where does the drive to fit...

The Bravery in Seeking Help

So, I just had a shitty week. I was struggling mightily with the Beast which is my suicidality, and I was on the losing end. Now, there...

Depression Is a Pain – Literally

Did the depression cause the pain, or did the pain cause the depression?? Now THAT is the question of the hour! Truth be told, ongoing...

Managing the Beast

So, you're wondering how (if, at all) one can manage their suicidality? To be able to visualize my villain, I nicknamed my suicidality...

Circle of Friends

I’ve written on the importance of support systems, but I think that one’s circle of friends may very well be the most important of those...

The Function of Suicidality

So, what is the function of suicidality, you ask? Suicidal ideation, the focus on suicide to the exclusion of most everything else, is...

Goodnight Moon

Night, night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Sleep is one of my biggest problems, one of the most consistently nefarious...

Grief and Loss

Two weeks ago, I lost my beloved Basset hound, Landis Leeron. Landy Loo was my comedian, my comic relief, my love, my cranky old man. I...

Are you a People Pleaser?

People-pleasing – we all do it to one degree or another. Whether it’s a problem depends on how we encode our people-pleasing. If we are...

Cultivating Hope

One definition of hope – which is also my definition – is going on when everything seems impossible. It is the belief in the future. Hope...

My Resolutions, You Ask? Not a One. NADA.

So, am I Ebenezer? Bah Humbug?? I mean, who doesn’t make resolutions? (Well, me for one! Hold on - that’s coming up.) The way I see it,...

5 Tips to Survive the Holidays

As the holiday season is upon us, I thought I would share some of my favorite (or most used!) tips for getting through the holiday...

The Holiday Doldrums

Chanukah just ended, and there are 15 days until Christmas. Are you freaking out? Do the holidays float your boat – or are they the bane...

The Thanks in Thanksgiving

At this time every year, we are meant to reflect on the blessings in our lives. For the suicidal person beating back the Beast that is...

It's All About Empathy

So, if I reread my last blog entry, I should be cutting myself a break for not having this entry completed on time. (Do I? Nope.) *sigh*...

Is it ok to take a break?

As I sit and ponder my blog this evening, I'm trying to be nonjudgmental with myself. Still, there is the ever-present, highly annoying...

Is avoidance always a bad thing?

What does avoidance mean to you? Is it always a bad thing? Is it a cop-out? Does it have any merit? I would argue that avoidance, while...

Notes from a Psych Unit

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” It’s been a while since I’ve put up a blog post, and this one should really be called “Notes...

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ABOUT ME

So, most people start an “About the Author” by dutifully reciting their education credentials. If you're curious about said details, I have an undergraduate degree in English and history as well as a Juris Doctorate, both from the University of Michigan, both in the ’90s.


But the nitty-gritty, important – and dare I say relevant – stats are 100 and 200, 15 and 2.


What??


Let me explain. This blog is (mostly) about suicide resilience, and those numbers mean something to me; they stand for my struggles, my efforts to improve (or at times to salvage) my mental health.

100: The number of times I have been hospitalized.

200: The number of different psychotropic medications I have been prescribed.

15: The number of times I have undergone electroconvulsive therapy sessions (not including the dozens of Transcranial Magnetic Therapy treatments).

2: The number of times I attempted to end my life.


I am no expert in anything but my own experience, and it is my hope that you gain something by reading about my struggles, my failures, and, yes, my successes. Because the Beast that is suicidality must be beaten back, put in its cage – only then can you really start to live.

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