Distraction. Good tactic or bad? (Spoiler alert: I think distraction can be an excellent coping mechanism when not overdone.)
Distraction can be a bit of both, but if used correctly, it can be a tool for good. Distraction can help people cope with complicated feelings, to go on to thrive despite difficult circumstances.
Some might say that distraction fosters avoidance. That’s not how I look at it, except when the distraction begets a whole other thing to avoid.
So, why is distraction mostly a tool for good? Distraction can help us get over difficult experiences. For example, my PTSD and resulting free-floating anxiety can be a bear to tolerate, so I use distraction to cope in a healthy manner.
When triggered, I like to work with my hands: I make holiday gifts for others, needlepoint, embroider, weave, draw, etc. Keeping my hands occupied helps me combat the negative thoughts (my four horsemen: worthless, useless, hopeless, failure) that take up residence in the forefront of my mind. I find that I can’t actively think about the four horsemen when concentrating on a project involving my hands. Not sure why, but it works like a charm.
I say, “works like a charm.” Well, it only works like a charm if you try it. I challenge you to make an agreement – with someone (or at the least, with yourself) to try a means of distraction for ten minutes. When the ten minutes are up, commit to another ten minutes, and so on. If you start with ten minutes, you are giving yourself the best chance of succeeding – starting right away with half an hour or an hour can set you up for failure.
Handiwork forces you to think about what you’re doing and gives you focus: you’re connected to your project. Note: these aren’t the only means of distraction. I like to listen to music, play with my dogs, ride my horse, go for a walk, binge-watch Netflix, drink a cup of tea, hold ice, and write; others like to read, paint, exercise, write poetry, play a musical instrument – the imagination only limits the list of possible distractions. And take note: what works for me or you may not work for someone else; everybody’s toolbox looks a little different. (The above distraction methods are merely examples of ways to distract yourself – get creative!)
I have found that keeping many options in your toolbox is important, as there are times when one skill works in a specific situation while another does not. I would urge you to keep a literal toolbox – by this, I mean having a basket or drawer dedicated to coloring books and colored pencils, word searches, crossword puzzles, dot-to-dot books, and logic games – whatever it is that you find helpful (and this could take a bit of trial and error while you discover what works for you). When you have no energy to problem solve, having things in your toolbox that you can access immediately is especially important. Remember that the Beast hates it when you come to the table prepared to do battle.
A couple of things to keep in mind that can interfere with the success of distraction: first, fearing failure can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so you must give whatever means of distraction you are employing a fair chance (remember, try it for ten minutes). Second, if you only expect mediocrity when you employ a means of distraction, you will only get mediocrity from your chosen means of distraction. Both can wind up robbing a decent, side-effect-free means of coping of having a chance at working.
Taking a PRN (an as-needed medication) can help relieve symptoms; what it doesn’t do is teach you how to manage difficult emotions. When I was hospitalized at the Menninger Clinic for two years, I was told that I had to figure out what I was feeling before they would give me a PRN. Although that’s extreme, I learned the coping method of distraction during that hospitalization, and it has stood me in good stead for over twenty years. I would say it’s a tried and true option for battling the Beast. Despite all evidence to the contrary, life can be beautiful. There is no rule that life only belongs to the mentally well. Note: the Beast hates for you to distract yourself from your difficult thoughts and emotions; the Beast hates the coping mechanism of distraction. So try it. Try a method that can have real success: distract yourself.
Very interesting, as always, thank you for sharing!  I love the term “self fulfilling prophecy,” isn’t that the truth with everything!? I need to focus my energy on distracting myself at the right times! Thanks again, Liz