Stephen "tWitch" Boss's death by suicide has captivated the American public. The comments have ranged from compassionate to utterly ignorant. Some smack of ugliness; these are the ones I want to address.
The one that irks me the most is that "he had everything." Two points: first, no one – I repeat, NO ONE – has everything. Just not a possibility, period. We all have our Achilles heels. Second, just supposing someone could have everything, there is no guarantee having everything would keep someone from the pit of despair.
How do I know that? Because some of the best times of my life, when everything seemed to go right - when I was turning water into wine, I was at my unhappiest. Why, you ask? I think because of the knowledge that "what goes up must come down," – even in my happiest moments, I wait (expect, really) for the other shoe to drop.
Then there are the comments about his being wealthy. Now, if there is a thornier subject than money, it beats me. You can have all the money in the world and still not be happy. Often, money complicates things more than it fixes things.
"He had a beautiful family." Here's a desperately sad reality: those who commit or attempt to commit suicide usually feel that their families are better off without them. The fact that his family was "aesthetically pleasing" was probably just about the farthest thing from his mind. I can speak to this from a personal perspective: when I made my attempts, I was convinced that I was merely a burden and that my family would be so much better off when I was gone. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore; they wouldn't have to take care of me anymore. I convinced myself that my exiting stage right was the best for everyone involved.
"He was so successful." Well, so was Winston Churchill, and he wasn't immune to the depression he referred to as his "black dog." Churchill may not have committed suicide, but he is an excellent example of how success in one's career does not necessarily mean one is happy. Sometimes success can bring joy – and sometimes, it can do the exact opposite. Suffice it to say success is complex.
"He could have gotten help." Yes, this is hypothetically true, but it's probably the most ignorant comment of all. It's arguably likely that his fame got in the way of his seeking help – someone with his high profile would have a hard time receiving help without the general public knowing, and that, to many, is a fate seemingly worse than death.
The Beast that is suicide reared its ugly head with Stephen Boss' death, for sure. It is a reminder to all of us to check on our friends and family members and to never leave a stone unturned in protecting the mental health of those important to us. Remember that no one – I repeat, NO ONE – is immune to the Beast's siren song, which-oh-so-sweetly sings to even the best of us.
This is very powerful, thank you so much for sharing all these ideas! It’s really hard to imagine what it is like, unless you were in that person’s shoes. Happy holidays, hope you have a very happy 2023! Sending love and hugs always! Liz