The Ripple Effect

Does suicide have a deleterious effect on communities? Turns out, suicide has a major negative impact on communities, from schools to houses of worship to families to neighborhoods to athletic teams – I could go on, but I think you get the point.

Suicide is the antithesis of the innate drive each and every person has to survive. Suicide scares the shit out of people, plain and simple, because it makes people dwell on their own fear of the end of their life. It may surprise you, but virtually every person, if not every single person, contemplates, no matter how briefly, taking their own life at some point in their life – a very scary thought for a species hell bent on survival.

Take a house fire, for instance: people do everything they can to get out of the burning building. People don’t exactly sit around and twiddle their thumbs while smoke and flames consume their abode. They grab their children, their pets, and if there’s time, a few cherished belongings. People don’t need to be told to get out of a fire – self-preservation simply kicks in.

This is why most people cannot understand suicide. People treat suicide with so much disdain and stigma because they don’t understand it – and they fear it. Why? Intentionally harming oneself (as in cutting or cigarette burning), not to mention killing oneself, is completely out of the wheelhouse of most people.

Interestingly, as I noted above, I have read in multiple articles on suicide that virtually everybody contemplates suicide at least once in their lives, even if just momentary and fleeting. To me, this and stigma make excellent bedfellows: contemplating suicide is generally a terrifying experience, and it makes perfect sense to me that one would do almost anything not to experience it again.

So, I’m guessing that you are at least slightly curious as to why I am so focused on the Beast that is suicide. First, I’ll give you the external reasons: I have lost multiple friends and relatives to suicide – several cousins and numerous friends. I have been the last person a friend has reached out to before committing suicide (it was the era of landlines, and I wasn’t home until late, and thought it was too late to return their call – when I did, it was too late). 

I later found out that my friend committed suicide after he called me. I have never gotten over the “what if’s”. I had absolutely no idea that he was suicidal. None whatsoever. It was definitely a lesson in learning to be more observant and having to have hard talks sometimes. 

An important note: If someone mentions they are getting rid of things you know they need or find personally important (often cherished items), listen carefully: getting rid of things that are very important to someone can be a hallmark of suicidal planning. 

The internal reason I am so focused on suicide is that I am a two-time survivor of serious suicide attempts. Yes, I have actively attempted suicide. Twice. The first attempt was not as terribly life-threatening (though it did land me in the hospital); the second attempt was very much life-threatening – it involved an ambulance, a multiple-day hospital stay, and I was very lucky to walk out of the hospital on my own two feet. 

There is also a phenomenon of suicide contagion. Most common in adolescents and young adults, after a suicide, there may be suicides of friends or peers of the original victim. I don’t know much about this phenomenon, but it is thought to be very spur-of-the-moment, and some argue that suicides should be downplayed so that others don’t see them as glamorous or enviable.

You’ll notice that people who are suicidal can have a different air about them – one of finality. If you’re worried about someone, WATCH for this change, as it can be a lethal symptom. Whatever you do, be observant. Watch for changes that herald in symptoms of finality, and act accordingly. Better to overact than miss a crucial sign that your loved one is suffering from symptoms of suicidality. 

Never brush off a suicidal comment. Listen. Really, really listen. If the person indeed needs an advocate, make sure they (or you) tell the intake people everything they have said, or you have noticed. If necessary, get someone to the hospital; if they aren’t compliant, call 911 and wait with them. This is serious – someone’s life may be on the line. Better to err on the side of caution. Whatever you do, take a suicidal person seriously – it may very well be a case of death or life.